Afraid of aging?

Don't read this is you are afraid of aging and only want to confront it when you take your last breath. This won’t be for you; it might make you wake up and create a life worth living.

I’ve started reading the book, “What Are Old People For?” by William H. Thomas, M.D., and he says many of the things I've come to believe (and experience) around the aging process. We both agree is is a NATURAL part of life; just like birth, childhood, adolescence, young adult, middle-aged adult, and MATURE adult (think old, but without the cultural crap associated with that word).

As we age we accumulate a lifetime of insights, challenges overcome, strategies for living -- just plain wisdom -- which we now have access to as we continue to live our lives. What a splendid gift; both for ourselves and for others younger who would, given an open mind and heart, reap the benefit of our experience.

As Dr. Thomas so wisely points out, “aging requires life...being alive is a continuous prerequisite for growing old...given a choice between aging and death, we choose to grow old.” Amen! I choose to grow old and to do it powerfully, and make it fun and fabulous.

One of the first things I recommend is de-stressing. There’s so much going on in our lives it’s become easier and easier to feel overwhelmed, burnt out and SERIOUS. Sometimes it’s stress related to health issues; sometimes to relationships; sometimes finances, you get the point.

Here are some tips to de-stress:

1- Immediately focus on the present by feeling the physical sensations in your body. Become aware of your breathing and slow it down. Six breaths in, a slight pause and 4 breaths out works well for me.

Notice the way your body feels; hear what you hear, see what you’re seeing. If it’s pain you’re dealing with, focus on the parts of your body that feel good rather than the painful area. Being present to what is stops the mind’s negative chatter.

2- Stop worrying. Say to your self “ I don’t need to worry now, I can worry all I want in 5 minutes”. When the 5 minutes is up, give yourself another 5. The worry cycle is usually broken after the first 5 minutes!

3- If your mind decides to focus on the problem situation anyway, see the situation resolved in the best possible way. To engage all your senses, first see what you’ll see when it is resolved, then hear what you’ll hear, and then feel how you will feel when the problem is solved.

For example, if it’s related to weight loss see yourself in a mirror looking like you want to look, hear what others will be telling you about how great you look, and feel the emotions you’ll have when you look and feel lighter!

All these steps will create a space between the “problem” and how you think about it. You’ll get new insights about how to handle it, and discover new, more effective strategies to create what you want in your life.

It’s worked for me, and I’ve started to sleep better too! More on sleep in the next post.

Finding Gratitude

I realized I hardly ever notice what I have to be grateful for -- I’m generally focused on what’s missing, on what I need to get or achieve, on feeling lack instead of fullness. So tonight I will list some of the many things for which I am grateful.

- I’m grateful for the warmth of the little electric heater by my feet; that I am not cold, but warm and cozy even though it’s very, very cold outside.

- I’m grateful for the absolute loyalty and love of my little dog, Max, who follows me everywhere and makes me feel like I have some purpose for being here.

- I’m grateful for my husband and his beautiful guitar playing in the next room. It makes him so happy to play and I love seeing him smile and laugh.

- I’m grateful for the love of my three sons, who love me even after I hurt them deeply by my absence when they were growing up.

- I’m grateful for my friends who have so much faith in me and who encourage me to fulfill my highest potential -- who give me their truth, their love, their time and energy.

- I’m grateful I found the most wonderful photographer, Diane Varner (http://www.dianevarner.com) whose digital photography can bring me to tears of wonder and joy.

- I’m grateful I have the means to eat, to have shelter, to listen to beautiful music, to play with my digital camera and my computer.

- I’m grateful I’ve had all the experiences I’ve had -- the challenges, the imagined suffering and pain, and the opportunity to use these to continue to learn and grow.

- I’m grateful for the time I spent in India at the Rajneesh Ashram and in Oregon at Rajneeshpuram, and for all the amazing people I met and loved, and even those who were the most difficult to be around, for they taught me so very much about myself and my capabilities for forgiveness.

- I’m grateful I found my last spiritual teacher, Gangaji, experiencing THAT in her presence in 1996 and seeing no separation between myself, others, and this planet.

- I’m grateful for my coaching clients, their faith and trust in me and the journey we are on together to create lives of passion and purpose.

- I’m grateful I found the NLP and Coaching Institute of California and Tim and Kris Hallbom -- it changed my life in ways that are still being revealed and rid me of the last vestiges of my attachment to my old stories.

- I’m grateful I have a warm bed to get into now, and great books to cuddle up with as I make my way into delicious sleep.