Afraid of aging?

Don't read this is you are afraid of aging and only want to confront it when you take your last breath. This won’t be for you; it might make you wake up and create a life worth living.

I’ve started reading the book, “What Are Old People For?” by William H. Thomas, M.D., and he says many of the things I've come to believe (and experience) around the aging process. We both agree is is a NATURAL part of life; just like birth, childhood, adolescence, young adult, middle-aged adult, and MATURE adult (think old, but without the cultural crap associated with that word).

As we age we accumulate a lifetime of insights, challenges overcome, strategies for living -- just plain wisdom -- which we now have access to as we continue to live our lives. What a splendid gift; both for ourselves and for others younger who would, given an open mind and heart, reap the benefit of our experience.

As Dr. Thomas so wisely points out, “aging requires life...being alive is a continuous prerequisite for growing old...given a choice between aging and death, we choose to grow old.” Amen! I choose to grow old and to do it powerfully, and make it fun and fabulous.

One of the first things I recommend is de-stressing. There’s so much going on in our lives it’s become easier and easier to feel overwhelmed, burnt out and SERIOUS. Sometimes it’s stress related to health issues; sometimes to relationships; sometimes finances, you get the point.

Here are some tips to de-stress:

1- Immediately focus on the present by feeling the physical sensations in your body. Become aware of your breathing and slow it down. Six breaths in, a slight pause and 4 breaths out works well for me.

Notice the way your body feels; hear what you hear, see what you’re seeing. If it’s pain you’re dealing with, focus on the parts of your body that feel good rather than the painful area. Being present to what is stops the mind’s negative chatter.

2- Stop worrying. Say to your self “ I don’t need to worry now, I can worry all I want in 5 minutes”. When the 5 minutes is up, give yourself another 5. The worry cycle is usually broken after the first 5 minutes!

3- If your mind decides to focus on the problem situation anyway, see the situation resolved in the best possible way. To engage all your senses, first see what you’ll see when it is resolved, then hear what you’ll hear, and then feel how you will feel when the problem is solved.

For example, if it’s related to weight loss see yourself in a mirror looking like you want to look, hear what others will be telling you about how great you look, and feel the emotions you’ll have when you look and feel lighter!

All these steps will create a space between the “problem” and how you think about it. You’ll get new insights about how to handle it, and discover new, more effective strategies to create what you want in your life.

It’s worked for me, and I’ve started to sleep better too! More on sleep in the next post.

How I stopped trying and started living

My mind was racing - again - as I thought of the thirty odd things I had to do; all of them seemingly critical to our success. As I talked on the phone to my friend Patty, I whined about how much work I’d had to do on getting her courses up and running on our online scheduling system; I whined to my other friend, Carol, the organizer extraordinaire, about a visit from an old friend that had created more unfinished work for me to do. In retrospect, It seems like I whined to every unfortunate soul I came in contact with today - ick!

As I listened to myself, I began to feel uncomfortable at how un-resourceful I sounded, how I sounded like a freaking victim -- which I definitely am not! I stopped in my tracks and looked at what work I was doing and realized how much I had accomplished and that much of it I actually enjoyed; I could even say it was fun and challenging.

I had allowed an old habit of not being present to what was actually happening sidetrack me from noticing what I was doing in that very moment, moving from one task to the next intuitively and gracefully and enjoying myself.

As I let my ideas and old habits drop away, I became still and saw the absolute perfection in what I had chosen to do in that moment. Past moments dropped away, future tripping stopped and I took my dog, Max, for a walk -- I simply let go and followed the flow of what was right in each moment, and it was perfect and effortless and fun.

The older I get, the better I get at seeing the unconscious moments and moving out from them. I really like aging!

I was tagged for a meme by Sharry of Embodied Aging

My blog friend, Sharry of Embodied Aging, invited me to blog about this meme, so here I go.

- If you could do anything you want to, what would it be?

I’d write stories and metaphors that had the power to change lives for the better and create programs that would spread them far and wide, and it would be fun and easy!

- If you could paint the (whole) world one color what would it be?

Green, so my favorite foliage would always be vibrant and full of life.

- Would you rather be an animal or a person?

Definitely a person for this life. Although I love animals, especially elephants, so perhaps being a great Elephant Matriarch would also be very cool! This is a Libra-like answer....

- If you said animal, which one?

See above answer.

Now to add mine -

- How do you stop yourself from doing what you answered in the first question?

I put everyone and everything else first and burn myself out being a caretaker. I neglect to do what nourishes me. I find it difficult to delegate, and can be critical. Ouch! That hurts. I guess I’d better change.

Thanks, Sharry, for helping me see myself -- again.

I've discovered I'm not Superwoman - shocking!

I haven’t blogged for over a month while we moved our fitness studio out of the back yard converted workshop into a commercial space three times bigger. This has been one of the most difficult moves I’ve ever done -- and I’ve done a lot of them. It was basically my husband, James, and myself with one day of help from a dear friend and my son and his significant other.

I’ve always been able to do anything I set my mind to, and I’ve been accustomed to taking care of pretty much everything other than the physical stuff -- arthritis being a factor. This time I felt stretched well over my limits and there were times when I wanted to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head. Kinda’ like when I was a kid and it seemed safe and cozy and warm in there.

Well, I survived and I’m a much wiser person for it. Now I know I need to get more help, not just to move but in the business itself. This one-woman army is looking for a team to work with. I’m not Superwoman anymore!